Why You Should Not Hate Rejection


Being rejected is so painful, especially when we humans are wired to desire affection and a sense of belonging. But unfortunately, rejection is an unavoidable part of the Human experience.

Whether we want it or not, we all have and are experiencing rejection at some point in our lives; be it in job interviews, friendship requests, marriage proposals, or even when seeking for a little help somewhere.  Even we, have at one instance, rejected someone or something with or without our knowing. But what many of us do not know is that rejection is not all evil. 

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, rejection is to refuse to accept, consider, submit to, take for some purpose, or use. 

So you've been there before, when someone refuses to accept you in a group, job position, as a friend or lover, or refuses to accept your advice, contribution, ideas, gifts, help, and so on.

Rejection indeed can be very daunting. And although we cannot change the fact that we feel pained after every form of rejection, we can rewire our minds to accept it as a part of normal life. 

Remember, your reactions to unpleasant situations is what matters and not the situation itself. Also, you can, to a larger extent, decide to let someone or something influence the way you feel. It's up to you.

Read also: Our only hope

What are the benefits of rejection?

1. It provokes self improvement

Sometimes, when we're rejected, we're usually told the reason why. For example at a job interview, we're told the qualifications we do not have to be eligible enough to get that position. This makes us go back to learn and acquire those skills we did not have. It could also be that we're not accepted into a team or group or even as a friend. When asked why, we're told we do not possess some qualities enough, like self confidence, ability to get along with people, our ideas are not great enough, and others. When we are rejected due to some qualities we lack, we can go back and improve ourselves for better so as not to miss similar opportunities that will come in the future. But when we're rejected due to some natural flaws we have, be it physical; like a deformity in a certain part of our body, or psychological; like a mental illness, or even something we cannot presently afford; like the latest clothes or house or car, we should not blame ourselves but rather, accept that not everyone will like us for who we actually are and what we have.

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2. It makes us patient.

Most of the times, we are always in a hurry to get things or get things done. Sometimes, this could be out of unhealthy reasons, like wanting to outshine another. It's just like we're in a competition with people around us and we must by all means, defeat them. Otherwise, it could be due to genuine reasons; to survive and make it in life. Rejection helps us to calm down and rethink our reasons and actions; whether they are worth it or not. It helps us evaluate ourselves, our values and priority in life. For example, when our ideas, efforts or requests are rejected, we're made to question whether what we are "killing" ourselves for is actually worth it, and it's only in patience we can do this. With rejection, we can strengthen or redefine our needs and desires for a particular thing. In all, it helps us CALM DOWN AND THINK.

3. It shows us a new path

When we're rejected, we're forced to explore other alternatives. This causes us to think outside the box, and even enhance our creativity. Rejection leads to discoveries: we discover our true selves, we discover our talents and abilities, we discover that we truly or do not need what we're fighting for, and many others. We could also develop an interest in other things that would really help our lives, or meet new people that would be of great benefit to us.

4. It makes us empathetic

Think about it, some people are so mean and don't just care about the other person's feelings. But if you're really a good person, rejection will help you know how it feels like to be rejected, and you will care more about how others feel as you would not want them to feel the way you felt. Nice people are liked by everyone, so, you'll be one of those nice people.

5. It makes us stronger

Rejection strengthens us emotionally and psychologically. It helps us grow and mature. When we're rejected, we learn to pick ourselves up again and continue, instead of staying down feeling dejected and devastated. It helps us face squarely, and handle in a more mature way, more rejections that would come in the future. Instead of crying and sulking over the feeling of being rejected, we're made to be more tough and resistant to such and similar feelings.

In summary, being rejected:

1. Helps for self discovery

2. Aids self awareness

3. Helps us discover our talents and abilities

4. Redirects us to something or someone better.

5. Makes us stronger

6. Helps us strengthen our values

7. Creates opportunity for change

8. Helps for self improvement

9. Makes us more emotionally mature

10. Helps us reevaluate our needs and goals.

Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better - Steve Maraboli

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